Life Isn’t About the Fight

I am a fighter.  I have spent my life fighting.  I have heard the phrase “go with the flow” and I used to hate it.  It reminded me of a jelly fish, sitting in the water doing nothing but stinging people and eating.

It sounded lazy.  I never got the point of the flow.  Why do we exist if we are just flowing?  That said I knew there was a good chance I was wrong.  I had a deep sense I was looking at it wrong. It doesn’t mean what I thought when I didn’t know how to do it.  Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t really know how to do it, but I am getting better.

There is no better example of going with the flow than how I have built my life coach business (or maybe how the flow built it).  I have pushed hard.  There is no doubt about it.  I have had to push through countless obstacles, but to be fair, most of the obstacles were my own inner parts and their beliefs.  And to overcome those, there is a willfulness required.  But when it came to taking action, it wasn’t about fighting.  It was about going in the direction I was pointed.  And the flow was doing the pointing.

You may be wondering what I am talking about.  Honestly, so many of us have not experienced the flow.  Until recent years, I hadn’t.  If I didn’t make it happen, it didn’t happen.  I saw myself as the only one who was going to get me through this mess of a life.  I assumed support was something that happened for others.  How could there possibly be a flow for me?  So today I will shine some light as to how I stopped fighting and started flowing.  Today I will tell you about three people that flowed in to my life, three people who showed up just at the right time.

When I started this journey, I didn’t know where to start.  I knew I needed a website that reflected who I was.  I knew I needed an offering that would help my clients.  And I knew I needed a way to get information to as many people as possible.  There was so much to do I was paralyzed.  One day, a friend mentioned a fantastic web designer and strategist, Danna Clare.  With one call, we started down a creative road together.  She brought the process and I brought the vision (although I didn’t know it).  She translated our hours of strategizing in to the most beautiful creations beyond what I could have imagined.  This woman who seemed to show up out of nowhere gave me direction when I was stuck.

Right after my website went live, I was faced with the daunting task of bringing my message to more people.  I knew social media was the way to do it, but honestly, I didn’t know how to grow my Facebook page.  I felt stuck again.  But one day, I was introduced to Steven Aitchison through a virtual group.  Before I knew it, I was working with him to understand just how I could use social media and branding to build a following for my message.  I had the privilege of meeting him last week in Scotland and it was like meeting an old friend.  We both celebrated how far I’ve come.


Fast forward a year and I was feeling stuck again.  I was struggling to create new offerings.  I needed help with my messaging and I definitely needed some guidance in visual design (NOT my strength).  I am a word girl and that is that.  I joined an accountability group to keep me on task with writing my book.  And there was Allanah Hunt at just the right moment.  Through her visual genius and caring friendship, I have been able to envision programs and create clear messages I never could have done without her.  I met her in person last week in England, and our meeting confirmed the universe created a true sisterhood.

All three of these people seemed to drop out of the sky at the moment I needed them.  They showed up because I decided to go with the flow and embrace what came to me.  These moments of support by the universe brought what I needed to put my vision in to practice, but my action was still required.  I still had to be willful about my goals, but there was help.  There was flow.  I have learned that sometimes the best practice is to slow down and look around for the help and support.  That help and support will often take us to the scary places, the directions we fear, the messages we would rather not say.  But that is where we are meant to go.  The universe knows this.  And we must flow with it.


Written By Elisabeth Corey, MSW

Life Isn’t About the Fight was originally published @ Beating Trauma and has been syndicated with permission.

Photo by Jonty Sewell


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