We all know the typical scene: You go out to dinner with friends and there is a pause in conversation. Immediately the phones come out. Or, you simply leave the phone on the table so you can see if someone else texts you, or you get a Facebook comment on that hilarious status update, and you can respond quickly. Does this influence your relationships? Most would say in some ways yes. In fact the ‘new thing’ apparently is playing the phone stack game where at dinner or a bar you all place your phone in the center and the first person to pick theirs up needs to pay for the food or drinks. Sounds tempting to me…
But is simply putting your phone in the middle enough? A recent set of studies suggests that not only is using your cellphone in company a hinderance on relationships but the mere presence of the cell phone itself, even when not in use and not within your direct line of vision, influences how you relate to others. According to the article How Your Cell Phone Hurts Your Relationships :
“The presence of the cell phone had no effect on relationship quality, trust, and empathy, but only if the pair discussed the casual topic. In contrast, there were significant differences if the topic was meaningful. The pairs who conversed with a cell phone in the vicinity reported that their relationship quality was worse. The pairs also reported feeling less trust and thought that their partners showed less empathy if there was a cell phone present.”
If the use and even the simple presence of a cell phone influences casual interactions then surely it would influence our professional and therapeutic relationships. Do you use your phone as your clock or timer? Do you charge your phone in your office and leave it in a visible place? Are you often taking emergency calls while meeting with other clients? If you answered yes to any of the above, you might want to reconsider. Maybe we should put that phone away out of reach and visibility when we want to have true conversation about meaningful topics. It could help us, both personally and professionally. Tune out of technology, and tune into your relationships.
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