Although the world may have progressed since the 19th century, by and large, interracial couples still tend to receive a lot of stares. While those doing the staring may not even be aware of their stares, they’re sure doing it. For those who are a part of an interracial couple, you may feel an added pressure from these stares and the comments that some people may make. To help navigate the–at times–frustrating sphere of interracial dating, here are a few dating tips to make sure your relationship lasts.
- Embrace The Culture
Just like with any dating partner, regardless of their skin color, their family dynamic is likely different from your own. They’ll have traditions and unspoken rules that have long since been established and likely carried from generation to generation. Being able to navigate those family dynamics and traditions is a sure way to not feel overwhelmed. Families also tend to love those who can pick up on their traditions and embrace them without question. So, take some time to learn about your partner’s family and its own sphere of culture. The more research you do, the better off you’ll be when it comes to meet the family or spend time with them during the holidays.
- Be Strategic On Venues For Dates
While most people have readily accepted interracial couples, there is still that small number that just can’t seem to get it. When you want to go on a date with your partner, depending on where you live, it might be a good idea to do a little research on the area you want to go to for dinner. Is it a place that is generally open-minded and liberal? These are areas where you’re likely going to feel the most welcomed and comfortable. You’ll also probably have a lot fewer stares to ruin your meal. While this is a step that shouldn’t have to occur in the current year, for your safety and the safety of your partner, it doesn’t hurt to make sure that where you want to go to for a good time is a safe place.
While confrontation isn’t always the best course of action, you might be able to leave those people who tend to stare with a bit of a lesson. Again, not everyone is staring due to a negative perspective on the relationship. Some might actually be staring because they approve or are proud. All the same, the staring can become undesired. As such, you may begin with a polite, “how are you?” Bringing notice to the fact that you know that they’re staring might make them realize that they are, in fact, staring and move along. It may also force them to comment. Whether their comment is positive or negative depends on the individual, but you can always reinforce–politely–that you are surprised that your relationship garners so much attention simply due to skin color. Small comments that point out the latent racism could serve as a valuable lesson for those who either have negative or positive feelings about your relationship.
- Date The Person
When it comes to relationships and love if you’re dating someone because of their appearance–specifically their skin color–you could be working towards a doomed relationship. While attraction certainly plays a part in a happy relationship, it should never be the focus of a relationship. To avoid dating skin color, just focus on the person themselves. Find out what they like, what their values and beliefs are, what makes them laugh, and inquire about their viewpoints about the world. If they match up with yours, and you find that you enjoy their company, then you’re probably set for a lasting relationship. Love should always spark due to a person’s personality rather than their skin color. This is something that you should expect from your partner, too. There are people out there who have a fetish for skin color. If you’re interested in exploring an interracial relationship–or just find yourself in one–be sure that your partner is interested in who you are as a person, too, and not just the color of your skin.
Love Knows No Color
There’s no reason why an interracial couple should garner as much attention as anyone else’s relationship. However, until the world is where it needs to be, by following these tips, you can help yours last and perhaps even aid the world in reaching that utopian viewpoint of race.