Dear Dad
I thought about writing Jim instead. That is your name. It has been a while since I have thought of you as more than the person who spread his seed. That certainly doesn’t make you a father. You were never …
trauma recovery Archive
5 Ways We Sabotage Ourselves and Why It Makes Sense
When we grow up with complex trauma, we learn survival skills. These survival skills are incredibly useful when we are children. They may not be as helpful as we think they are, but they definitely help. They help avoid painful …
You Can’t Escape
I have been working with an amazing group of inner parts this past year. The freedom fighters are some of the most authentic parts I have met. In some ways, they are more devoted to my real purpose than my …
The Chains of Fear
I have been experiencing an intense inner battle lately. It is stirring up my system and creating anxiety I haven’t felt for a while. Don’t get me wrong, it was normal for me to feel this in the past. I …
When Desperation Calls
Desperation is a familiar feeling for those of us with complex trauma. Our goals can feel impossible and completely out of our control. That feeling of powerlessness has been around a long time and it didn’t disappear in adulthood. But …
A Messy World
Protecting my children has been one of my most important goals over the past 11 years. I have made it clear to my family and all other abusers that my children are not available to them. I have eliminated all …
Rethinking Paranoia
Paranoia is one of the most stigmatized symptoms of complex trauma. It is often viewed as a sign of a serious mental illness. But the reality of paranoia is different. It is everywhere. I believe childhood trauma makes it a …
See Me!
I have been introduced to my second superior part over the past week. Unlike my superior defender, this part is a rebel who wants to do her own thing. At first, I found it a bit amusing to listen to …
“I’m Getting Worse”
Most people who decide to work with me have been journeying through recovery for many years. They have been struggling to reduce their traumatic pain for decades. They have tried many approaches over the years. Some have worked a little. …
“You Are Too Intense.”
I have spent several months walking through my past with my inner rebel runner. It hasn’t been easy. We have felt so much futility, grief, shame and fear. And countless memories have been shared. All of these memories are different …
